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Better Definitions Than A Dictionary
ADULT A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.. COMMITTEE A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. HANDKERCHIEF Cold Storage. INFLATION Cutting money [...]
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Very funny quotes
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. It’s always darkest before dawn, so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be [...]
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30 Things a Woman Can Say to a Naked Man
I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. Ahhhh, it’s cute. Why don’t we just cuddle? You know they have surgery to fix that. Make it dance. Can I paint a smiley face on it? Wow, and your feet are so big. It’s OK, we’ll work around it. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? Oh no… a flash headache (giggle and point) Can I be honest with you? How sweet, you brought incense. This explains your car. Maybe if we water [...]
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